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Jun 01

How we ‘In-DEBT’ Ourselves – A personal story

 

 

 

When it comes to ‘DEBT’ you can find yourself experiencing some really dark negative thoughts that run over and over again in your mind – Like a broken record player stuck on repeat!

They can feel all consuming and no matter what you do, you can’t see a way out – It’s like torture of the meanest kind.

 

 

Constantly running with the thoughts of how do I bring more money in – when you have no extra time! ‘There’s NEVER enough!

AND the dark feelings and emotions that accompany those – I’m Useless, I’m a failure, I’m not smart enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not educated enough, thin enough, lovable, I can never feel Safe, this mean I’m …..(Fill in the Blank),

blah blah blah, you get my drift.

‘DEBT’ can bring with it some of the darkest most shameful feelings and thought patterns that unconsciously we are saying to ourselves many times a day.

Not a positive vibration is it:)

However ,as human beings we only want to feel good so we are always trying to move away from pain into pleasure.

Even if that is momentarily.

So what do YOU do to move away from your painful thoughts?

For Me in the past, ‘One’ of my many anesthetizes was wine in a wine glass and then going out to get More!!!

It was a never ending cycle of Money, Party, Loss and Pain.

Followed closely by feelings of Anger, Guilt, Sadness, Frustration, Disappointment and Shame,

Then the Withdrawal, Criticism and Self blame.

In fact I called myself every horrible name –

I so wanted to be Financially independent and Secure, yet I felt like I kept hitting this Invisible wall.

Like one of my many wise teachers said, “Like taking yourself to the end of the Bulls horn.”

AND …

Further more I had ‘NO’ idea that the reasons of why I was spending and cycling the way I was, all had their roots in the past.

Thats right, …

From all accounts, I was only moving away from the uncomfortable painful emotions that unconsciously seemed way to ‘BIG’ for me to handle on my own.

I kept those emotions well fed, that is, until I picked up the courage to look within.

I fed my debts of anger, betrayal and yes (hatred), with ‘Alcohol and Spending,’ I fed my grief, my despair, my loss, with ‘Pretend love and Spending.’

I fed my guilt and shame with ‘Sugar and Spending’, I escaped my reality with ‘Drugs’

and it ALL showed up in my bank accounts.

It showed as a ‘BIG’ vacuumous hole in my Savings account and a pile of unopened DEBT.

It showed up as Electricity companies cutting off my power supply, Losing my Home, a Business and Banks shutting down on my ‘Money.’

‘Money’ showed me I was out of control, it showed me how to connect…It showed me how terrified, empty, vulnerable and un-safe I felt.

I thought it was me just being ‘USELESS’ with money, but it was so much more than that.

You see I had given birth to a precious little boy at just 15 and gave him up for adoption and with that my heart and my soul and my own sense of worthy and deserving.

I had a void so big in Me – No-thing could fill it.

The pain, the despair, betrayal and the loss was like a festering wound that no matter how hard I tried it refused to be covered up

I tell you this today, not for you to feel sorry for me, but to invite you to a new level of understanding.

These can be the very reasons why you too maybe struggling with Debt, with little Savings, with Self Doubt, Mis-trust , owing Money and Empty accounts.

You too have your own individual story none of us is left UN-touched.

I share this with you today because these emotions and trauma’s can be keeping your money where it is.

Stopping you for ever getting ahead of ever feeling like you can be Free.

The GOOD news is You CAN be free of this.

Some people can get help in the practical sense and find ways to get money working for them (this is Important too).

Yet others will know that their is ‘MORE’ to their money story in the emotional sense and know they have to go their first.

The day I decided to become a ‘Money and Mindset Coach,’ was the best and the scariest day ever, but when I learned that it wasn’t my fault and I understood and learned the reasons ‘WHY’ money never showed up for me, I was blown away.

I had been sooo hard on myself….Can you resonate?

We can have some pretty crappy stories attached to our Money and Money for me was more like a ‘Monster than a friend.

It was like I had always wanted it, but no matter what I did or tried to do it didn’t seem to want to stick around.

These feelings had been their first.

These stories are individual and can show up in many different ways like a death of a loved one, a betrayal of yourself or someone that you love, a loss in Income through misadventure, health issues, trusting someone and being ripped off.

You could have had something stolen from you or lost money and been scolded as a child. You could of been taken to the cleaners in a divorce settlement or made a poor decision about an investment or business.

A bankruptcy or Liquidation ,an Adoption procedure like mine, it is super important to honor these as try putting yourself out into the world allowing all of your brilliance to shine when you have a festering wound inside.

So today, I just invite you to give yourself some sacred space to honor that emotional weight that you have been carting around.

Because chances are You have NEVER honored this in the past and no body else has either. No body really gets what you went through back then and those memories are just as clear for you today as what they were back at that time.

I just want YOU to know – I get it!

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About Susan Whelan

Susan has fought her way through Addictions to Alcohol, Drugs, Body and (Poverty) and has emerged through the other side as a certified Coach in Addiction, Nutrition, Yuan Gong (Qigong) Human Life Development & Yuan Ming Medicine, Tapping into Wealth and IS one of Australia’s first Financially Fit Bootcamp Coach’s with Mindshift.money.

Today Susan call’s on all of her life experiences and all of her technical skills and tools so she can help You Neutralize the uncomfortable emotions around money, Terminate the Limitation and Implement the Steps and Structures to once and for all ‘End’ your money stress forever while you create your life of ‘Emotional & Financial Freedom’.