When it comes to writing my blog posts I normally allow what is presenting itself to guide me, either through my client struggles at the time, what my family members are dealing with, or where and what is coming up in my own personal money adventure.
So this weeks post is timely and is all about one of the five money categories.
This does not always present in everyone’s life but the topic for this post is ‘Toxic Money’!
When it comes to healing and opening up space for money to flow into your life if you have your own toxic money cycle going on, it can be particularly devastating when you want to bring in an income and when it comes to dealing with toxic money, it is a whole different beast than the other four money categories.
Have YOU ever experienced the frustrating cycle now or in the past, of always running out of money and having someone else (perhaps a family member), having to continually bail you out?
This pattern can feel very embarrassing and dis-empowering and you can end up feeling really disappointed and angry at yourself every time it happens….
AND not only that..
Even though you really hate being in that position, you NEED that money to get by on and you can see no other way out.
This is just one of the example’s of the Toxic Money cycle and how it plays out.
Below you will get to see a few more.
A toxic money cycle can be a situation in which you are owed money – maybe from an accident, inheritance, a marriage break up, an employer/employee, or child support – and money is being withheld in battle or anger.
It’s conditional, or given with resentment – But you REALLY need and want that money.
This is when money and YOU, becomes caught up in a Toxic cycle and pattern.
A particularly common Toxic cycle plays out in unhealthy husband/wife/partner realms and it happens when they are living in a situation where they are continuously being given money and they REALLY need it.
They are relying on this money to support and take care of themselves and in many cases their children, yet the money they are receiving is at a high price.
In these scenario’s the recipient often feels plagued by discomfort and intimidation, with overwhelming thoughts of resentment, anger, hatred and loathing.
This anger and loathing can be turned towards another or turned inwards towards themselves.
I know in my particular case this was so.
Self worth and personal value can be so negatively impacted, as overtime these unhealthy emotional states build, making the situation very dysfunctional and toxic-ally charged.
It is common to feel very stuck in these unhealthy dysfunctional relationship/situations (some of which have been going on for a long time), where they believe they are needing the money to get by on, yet at the same time the cost to the individual far exceeds any money that they get.
This type of situation is not only limited to husband/wife/partners, it can also show up with adults who are still needing to turn to their parents for financial assistance.
With these particular toxic cycles it can feel like money is ALWAYS being with-held from you and you ‘NEVER’ get enough.
Like you are locked into this constant horrible battle around money and that you always feel like you have to prove yourself to someone, how much you NEED the money.
Toxic money usually requires digging in and looking at in a deeper way, as while the other four money categories can be dismantled and freed up by looking in to the common blocks around them, toxic money come from a place of being more wounded because it has the person trapped in what can only be described as a state of victim-hood, loss of power and dis-empowerment.
Money is locked up in this constant battle state with all of the uncomfortable unhealthy emotions around it.
When money presents in this way in your life, it is like the Qi flow (life-force energy) in your own body is blocked and not matter what you seem to do it never runs freely.
And in fact this is the truth, until you clear it.
You may be reading this and thinking to yourself, ‘Holy Hell’ that sounds like me, or (someone that you love).
You maybe recognizing this very Toxic pattern and if you are, I invite you just to stop and take a nice deep breath and honor yourself in this story because coming to this realization and uncovering a Toxic cycle or pattern, because coming to this realization and uncovering a Toxic cycle or pattern, is a big deal.
Now a common denominator as Margaret. M. Lynch, (Author of Tapping Into Wealth) says, of people who have toxic money in their life,
You will often hear them saying, “Ever since this (fill in the space) started, I have never been able to earn again.
“It may of been or seemed like there has always been this long extended time of seemingly inability to earn.”
Toxic money can be very frustrating and heart wrenching when living in this situation, but from a coaching perspective, this is one of the money issues that takes a little more digging as it is frequently more around relationship dysfunctions and betrayals, that specifically one of money.
You WILL know if this is, or has been playing out in your life, because although you really NEED this money to get buy on, it forever leaves you feeling like you are always beholding to someone else.
It is this icky disgusting feeling around this person/situation of being under their thumb and that continually leaves you feeling less than you would like to feel.
But the good NEWS – This too can be cleared.
Clearing toxic money can be HUGELY transforming because not only do you clean up and clear out a whole bunch of anger, blame, sadness, hurt and loss, you get to free up the space where you can create the kind of income that you not only deserve but the kind of Income you would love.
On the other side of ‘Toxic Battle’ is a beautiful place of freedom and peace, of clarity, self worth, empowerment and self love.
Where to start:
#1 The first step is by being aware that this is playing out in your life. Stop and honor that in yourself.
#2 Shine the light of your consciousness on this part or time in your life and look into the unhealthy dysfunctional relationships that are present now, or have been through out your life.
#3 Follow those back to see where they started from, have a look at what was going on in your life at that time and acknowledge all of the emotions around that particular event that you are still holding onto to this day.
If this feels extremely uncomfortable for you and you feel like you would love a hand rather than going there alone, please feel free to request a 30 minute confidential curious conversation.
It is my passion to help women move through what is blocking them or no longer serving them, so they can reclaim their self worth, take back control, feel empowered and live a life of emotional and financial freedom and I would love to help you too.
Choose Freedom Every Time!
About Susan Whelan
Susan has fought her way through Addictions to Alcohol, Drugs, Body and (Poverty) and has emerged through the other side as a certified Coach in Addiction, Nutrition, Yuan Gong (Qigong) Human Life Development & Yuan Ming Medicine, Tapping into Wealth and IS one of Australia’s first Financially Fit Bootcamp Coach’s with Mindshift.money.
Today Susan call’s on all of her life experiences and all of her technical skills and tools so she can help ‘You‘ Neutralize the uncomfortable emotions and Stress around money, Terminate the Limitation and Implement the Steps and Structures to once and for all ‘End’ your money stress forever while you create your life of ‘Emotional & Financial Freedom’.