Who among us ever wants to admit they are full of fear?
I know I didn’t, in fact I spent many years growing the belief that nothing or nobody had the power to effect me, – little did I know, that underneath I had a simmering volcano that seemed to have a mind of it’s own.
I was FULL of perceived fear.
Fear of looking at or within myself, of seeing what these fears were about. A fear of what I would find, of who I truly was and fear of once I did, I wouldn’t like who I found.
Yet real free flowing fear I learned, is ‘Nothing’ to be afraid of.
Have you ever wondered ‘Why’ fear seems to possess so much power. Enough power to make so many cringe in it’s wake.
What if you could understand that it wasn’t fear at all, but a confused misinterpretation of our understanding, or lack thereof, when it comes to fear itself.
At many times in my life I have felt so uncomfortable in my own skin, full of anxiety, worry and panic, sometimes even terror.
My way of dealing with it back then was to fight, escape through my many colorful devices, or to run whenever those emotions were too intense or I felt like I was trapped.
The truth is, I wasn’t running as an exercise, “I was running of the inside,” a whole different outcome.
One of the very reasons why ‘fear’ is recognized as that fight or flight response.
It didn’t seem to matter who or what I was fighting, escaping or fleeing at the time, be it person situation, or the voice inside my own head.
Nothing changed for me until I could see that the only person I was escaping fighting and fleeing from, was myself.
All that changed one morning with a visualization where I seen myself coming to a stop.
I made myself turn around and see just how far I had run and where I had left myself back on the street.
It was a very profound experience and I poured my heart out as I realized and seen how far away I had left myself crouched down on that street.
I walked back to where I was, looked down upon myself, bent down and picked myself up to gently gather myself close into my own heart.
It felt challenging to draw myself in close as I seen for the first time ever how I had never wanted to be around myself and how I had been pushing myself away. Never in the past had I been able to feel love towards myself.
From that place, I promised I would never leave myself again no matter what.
Many of my former years I spent battling drugs and alcohol, broken love affairs and living life on the edge.
I also spent many years living as a solo mum where I learned to stand up for myself and my children, fear had no place, it was a sign of weakness and was rejected, dismissed and shunned.
I was an expert at covering up, moving on, hardening up and ignoring what I felt.
If anyone got in my way or put the screws on me, I could quickly send them on their way, without a backwards glance.
Emotions had little to no place in my life and when they did show up or seep out, they were quickly and effortlessly pushed away.
I had a favorite saying back then when told to harden up, “If I was any harder I would be a brick.” that was my way.
Fear has the ability to come knocking rather loudly and help break through the toughest of cement.
What I have found through my own journey was, the more I ignored or pushed away my emotions – the stronger they would became.
What I am very grateful for learning is..
Fear was never my enemy – in fact it become one of my greatest friends.
It had become so strong in me because I needed it to get through and show me I could not live life without it. I needed my fear to move forward AND to survive.
After all fear in it’s free flowing form is our intuition and our ability to take action.
When I stopped running from myself and made a commitment to stay with myself no matter what, I chose to listen to my fear instead of run and what I learned was, not only could fear teach me, but all of the other emotions I had been running from could also.
Each and every one of them had their particular gifts to impart and to share.
The penny finally dropped – Of course!
I AM an emotional mental physical spiritual and energetic being. How on earth could I be all that I am here to be, if I was pushing away and denying my emotional self.
It was the fear of myself that stopped me in my tracks and taught me this.
I no longer wanted to bury my head in the sand and ignore that. It was time to uncover and discover all in my life, about me and my life that I perceived I was terrified of, so I could then help others that struggled with their emotions to.
Free flowing fear is all about our action and intuition, it is our inner guide to healing our trauma’s, anxieties, terror and worries.
When fear is able to flow freely it will navigate you safely through life’s biggest challenges, hazardous situations and troubled waters.
It is just about stopping long enough, getting quiet and being open to listening to yourself, away from criticism judgement and self blame.
When you are able to neutralize the effects your emotions have on you then you are able to take back control and be the Master of your own ship, as opposed to your emotions having control over you.
I found there were times in my life that I was literally stuck due to terror, rooted to the spot and whenever someone or something triggered that old terror, up she would come full noise, to halt me in my tracks once more.
Today I am able to use these types of situations as my guide to question, solve, create, learn or heal.
I can be in charge instead of my emotions being in charge of me.
Anxieties worry panic and terror, are the signals that our instincts are being impaired or overwhelmed.
They can get really loud when we continue to ignore, push away, reject, dissociate, or numb down what’s really pushing to be heard.
They can also show when we let our minds travel too far forward or we are caught up in an old stuck trauma or events from the past.
These emotions can feel very uncomfortable, they can stop you from ever moving forward towards your goals, yet they are not your ‘Fear.’
They are the ‘residue’ or the ‘what if’s,’ of our stories. They do want a voice, they want to be heard, honored or mopped up and let go.
The only way out is through them. However, this doesn’t mean you have to camp out there.
We need to honor and recognize our fear for what it truly is – our intuition and our action.
It comes to our aid when it is free flowing, it provides clarity, keeps us focused, agile, capable and ready for action or reaction.
Think of when you learned to drive your car, or perhaps taught someone else to drive.
How alert did you have to be. That, was your free flowing fear acting for you.
I can remember this time well as I taught 3 of my 4 children how to navigate the roads.
Free flowing fear allows you to focus, scan and respond effectively to any situation, especially when you are juggling many tasks.
So how do we make peace with this emotion we may never have wanted to feel.
- Start with being open to the possibility that fear is not your enemy that it in fact could be your best friend.
- Trust in yourself. There is so much more to you than you could possibly imagine. You will love who you are.
- Notice fear for what it truly is and welcome it in like you would a guest into your own house.
- When you notice any discomfort in your body, commit to sitting quietly, create a sacred space for yourself to be with yourself. Journal. Question the truth of what you are believing, keep asking ‘Why’ am I feeling this way. What is it about. Where did I learn this. How long have I been feeling this way. Who taught me this. Is it true?
- Allow your stuck fear to move through you.
All emotions are like clouds in the sky they come and they go when allowed to flow freely. When you welcome them and learn from them they will gently flow through you bringing their many gifts to strengthen nurture support and relax you..
It takes honoring ALL of who you are to live a balanced fulfilled life.
Emotions never work on their own they always work in pairs or many.
Fear works closely with anger, our tears help to wash away residue and allow us to rejuvenate and relax.
There was a time in my life when I made a solid vow, to never ever allow anyone or anything to ever make me cry again.
When I made that vow I inadvertently gave up my ability to rejuvenate and relax.
There is another whole blog post in that.
It is my hope that this post will support and inspire you in making friends with your fear.
About Susan Whelan
Susan has fought her way through Addictions to Alcohol, Drugs, Body and (Poverty) and has emerged through the other side as a certified Coach in Addiction, Nutrition, Yuan Gong (Qigong) Human Life Development & Yuan Ming Medicine, Tapping into Wealth and IS one of Australia’s first Financially Fit Bootcamp Coach’s with Mindshift.money.
Today Susan call’s on all of her life experiences and all of her technical skills and tools so she can help ‘You‘ Neutralize the uncomfortable emotions and Stress around money, Terminate the Limitation and Implement the Steps and Structures to once and for all ‘End’ your money stress forever while you create your life of ‘Financial Freedom’.
Setting and Following the Financial Foundation Principles WILL take you towards Emotional and Financial Freedom – ‘The Choice is Yours’.